Preface#
It feels like fate has handed me a new script. Following my intuition, I made new choices and once again have the chance to do things I love. For that, I am truly grateful.
The process was also strangely tumultuous, a struggle for my mindset. But now, I’ve finally settled into a new orbit. I’m writing this post to record it.
Shifts in Mindset#
Lately, I feel the “ego-attachment” in my heart has lessened. Each day, I just think about how to take good care of myself and organize what needs to be done. Reducing connections unrelated to myself, that simple little life has returned.
The habit of taking walks, cultivated during my recovery period, has stayed with me. Now, I must go downstairs for a half-hour walk after every meal, to watch the sunset and the flow of people. I need this tangible sense of life.
Rebuilding Life’s Order#
After my 34th birthday, I’ve officially stepped into life at 35, middle age. The situations described in The Middle Passage that I read before are slowly unfolding. Both body and mind feel like they’ve shifted gears. Seizing this moment, I’m intentionally slowing down the pace of life, leaving more time for observation and recording.
Recently, I’ve particularly enjoyed taking photos with my phone. My album is filled with skies, crowds, street scenes, and food. It helps me remember the details of life, so when I look back later, I’ll have many more sensations to recall.
I heard a saying on a podcast recently that really struck me: “Actually, the body and mood might not be separate.” This aligns with my own observations.
My approach is this: I use writing and creative work to process emotional clutter, and use walking and exercise to regulate physical ailments. I’ve kept this up for over a year now, and the results are quite good.
As these minor physical issues gradually fade, the things that were tangled and unclear in my mind also seem to be finding their threads. Although not completely sorted out yet, things are generally moving in a better direction.
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