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A Stumbling 2023

A Stumbling 2023 Life Essays Life Emotions Reading Life Philosophy

No matter how you got through this year, it’s over now. Having endured those tough times, everything is still subject to change!

Return#

In 2023, I encountered many upheavals. What I initially thought were temporary difficulties turned out to be the tolling bell of an era’s turning point, and I had no choice but to adjust my life in step with the times.

I moved back to my hometown from Shanghai, gaining ample time to spend with family and friends. Learning English, exercising, reading, and making new friends—things I never had time for before—are now being maintained quite well.

End of a Career#

I plan to pause my career as a game designer and shift to freelancing, focusing on things that genuinely interest me.

Looking back on my time in the gaming industry, it’s been 17 years since I first met friends in the field during high school in 2006, when a vague dream of making games was planted in my heart. This journey has been incredible. Through the medium of games, I, a young man from a small town, stepped into a bigger world, met many outstanding people, and connected with like-minded friends. The only regret is not realizing my gaming dream or creating a game that truly satisfied me.

Youth is gone. Pausing this dream in my heart and turning gaming from work into a hobby seems like a good choice. Recently, playing Civilization V with a friend, we two “old boys” found long-lost joy in the game. I also dug through my Steam library and finally started playing Stellaris, immersing myself in the pleasures of sci-fi and strategy! Thinking about it now, this feeling isn’t bad at all! Enough!!!

Restart#

After ending my career in the gaming industry, I decided to change the course of this ship called life, resetting my goals. While ensuring a livelihood, I hope to gain more freedom to explore life’s possibilities.

While thinking about how to make money, I revisited the question of how to achieve commercial profit, which raised many doubts. Carrying these questions and uncertainties, I began searching for answers and reflecting. Along the way, I encountered content created by many interesting people, which provided ample inspiration.

Here are some interesting things I came across during this time:

Reading

This year’s reading list:

Podcasts

Podcasts listened to this year:

Film & TV

Movies and TV shows watched this year:

The Unchanging#

This year brought especially many changes—in environment, work, and life—but I also noticed some constants. For example: family, friends, hobbies, curiosity, and so on. These things have been my greatest support throughout the year.

Following Professor Xiang Biao’s advice to “rebuild the nearby,” I actively connected with people around me. I met many lovely individuals and received much kindness. By refocusing life on concrete people, life has become clearer and more certain.

Conclusion#

This was a year mixed with joy and pain. I experienced many moments of foolishness, arrogance, and overestimating myself. I also went through much pain, confusion, disappointment, and fear of an uncertain future. At the same time, I received much kindness, friendship, and familial love—all part of my experiences this year.

There are still problems in life to solve; take it slow! There are still many questions in life I can’t figure out; let’s see as we go! Wishing everyone a happy new year! May it be free and joyful!

Written on: December 30, 2023

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