I recommend a book called The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem. This book is a bit dated.
Pillar One: The Practice of Living Consciously
- The more aware I am of what aligns with my interests, values, needs, and goals, the more successful my life will be.
- Using my mind regularly is a source of great joy.
- Correcting mistakes is more beneficial to me than covering them up.
- Pay attention to distinguishing between facts, interpretations, and emotions.
- I must remain vigilant and resist any urge to avoid reality.
- If my perspective is broader, my life and actions will be more effective.
Pillar Two: The Practice of Self-Acceptance
- I live for myself.
- I accept myself and the reality of my thoughts.
- I don’t necessarily have to like, agree with, or be controlled by my emotions, but I can accept their existence.
- Even if I regret or blame myself, I will acknowledge what I have done.
- I acknowledge that my thoughts, feelings, and actions are expressions of myself, at least at the moment they occur.
- I acknowledge that I have many problems, but I am not defined by them. My problems are not my essence; my fears, pains, confusions, or mistakes are not my core.
Pillar Three: The Practice of Self-Responsibility
- I am responsible for my existence.
- I am responsible for fulfilling my desires and happiness.
- I am responsible for my choices, values, and actions.
- I am responsible for the level of consciousness with which I work, engage in activities, and interact with others.
- I am responsible for how I manage my time.
- I am responsible for enhancing my self-esteem; others cannot give it to me.
- Ultimately, I accept my state of aloneness. In specific matters, people can offer help, but no one can bear the most fundamental responsibility for my survival.
- The need for self-responsibility is natural. I do not see it as a tragedy.
Pillar Four: The Practice of Self-Assertiveness
- I can freely express my thoughts, beliefs, and emotions, unless in certain situations I feel it is better not to.
- I have the right to uphold my beliefs, values, and emotions.
- It is beneficial for me to let others know and understand me.
Pillar Five: The Practice of Living Purposefully
- Only I can choose the goals of my life; no one else can design my existence.
- If I want to succeed, I must learn how to achieve my goals. I need to plan and execute action plans myself and pay attention to the results of my actions.
- For my own benefit, I should closely examine reality—that is, pay attention to the information and feedback that shape my beliefs, actions, and purposes.
- I should not view self-discipline as a “sacrifice” but as a natural prerequisite for fulfilling my desires.
Pillar Six: The Practice of Personal Integrity
- I should align my words with my actions.
- I should keep my promises.
- I should treat others with fairness, integrity, kindness, and warmth.
- I should strive to maintain moral consistency.
Author: Jile
Link: https://www.zhihu.com/question/26522277/answer/133530231
Source: Zhihu
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